and finally .......

The edges were becoming a little blurry as Lucky's dream came to a gradual end.  She was so sleepy!  And yet it seemed like she'd been sleeping for a long time.  She twitched in her semi-sleep and felt the pain in her leg.  Slowly the memories came back to her as she began to rise above the anesthetic.  Gone.  All gone.  Her family had been brutally taken from her.  Where was she now?  Had she made it to the cabin?  Would she ever be free of this pain?  She stirred and felt the hand on her head.  Gradually she opened her eyes and looked into the face of her beloved Man.  She kissed his hand and felt him shudder as tears made their way slowly down through the scars on his face.  "Lucky ... my precious little girl!  Are you gonna come back to me?  Oh, God - - -"

She kissed him again and tried to scoot her body a little closer to his.  Nope, it just plain hurt too much.  She looked back over her shoulder, taking in the bulky bandages around her hind quarters.  Good Lord!  What had happened to her leg?  Where was her leg?  It was too much to take in all of a sudden.  Lucky whimpered as she closed her eyes again.  So sleepy.  And she ached so bad.  Gil's hand continued to stroke her head as she swallowed one time and quietly went back to sleep.  The crisis was past.  And Gil was smiling through his tears as he thanked his God.  He had his dog back.  And somehow he knew that this time she'd stay.

.

Lucky's story began for me in July of 2006.  Having just lost my own dog to cancer, this story was therapeutic for me, and I experienced healing as I wrote it.  The first post to xanga was, curiously, very hard for me.  July 13, 2006 I opened up my heart to this group of strangers-soon-to-become-friends, and through their acceptance of my writing I was able to go on.  Parts of Lucky's story are fiction.  I'll let "my three readers" figure out which ones, if they are inclined to go back through the years, begin at the beginning, and read to this end, over three years later.

xoxo

........

Running.  Running for the pure fun of it.  She loved the way the grasses brushed across her belly while she ran.  She looked over her shoulder and saw the boys loping along behind them, as if they knew that Lucky and Hunter needed to be in the lead this time.  Hunter sensed her beginning to tire out, though, and slowed down to an easier pace.  They were grinning at each other and he swung over and nuzzled her face.  Her heart was so happy!  They had a gorgeous day to play - - - the sun was bright but not too bright as the puffy clouds scattered over the sky and made it pretty.  There was just a little breeze, and it softly ruffled their fur as they stood on the outcrop and looked out across the hollow.

There were sheep down there, but Lucky and Hunter weren't hungry.  She glanced at Hunter and saw he had that look in his eyes.  He was such a rogue!  She laughed at him and pranced in front of him, just to tease him.  He knew that she knew he wanted to mess around with those stupid sheep.  Tanner and Sonny were nowhere in sight, so they just started on down to see if they could stir up a little mischief.  She was thinking she couldn't ever have picked a better mate than Hunter.  He could be very serious sometimes, but sometimes he just wanted to have fun.  And this was one of those times.

They streaked across the meadow and both of them laughed out loud as the sheep reacted with a little stampede to the left.  "Watch this!" Hunter cried to her as he swooped to the left.  Predictably, the sheep ran back to the right.  "Now this!"  He laughed and plunged to the right.  Back to the left the sheep went, bleating in confusion and panic, falling all over each other in their frantic attempt to escape.  Lucky delighted in Hunter's pranks.  Sure, it was mean to the sheep, but he meant them no harm this time, so that made it more fun.  Hunter trotted back to Lucky with a great big grin on his face.  "Well, that was refreshing!" he said.  "You really should probably be ashamed of yourself, Hunter - - - scaring those dumb animals that way.  It'll be hours before they calm down enough to eat again - - -"  "I know, Lucky.  I should be.  But I'm NOT!!"  And he laughed again.  "Let's see what the boys are up to, shall we?" And they loped their way out of the meadow, up to the top of the rise once more.

There were miles and miles of wild country around them.  Green, green trees spread out before them, softly rolling hills and gullies, crystal streams running merrily throughout the forest.  Lucky looked out and around, marvelling at the beauty of this place.  She and Hunter's life was full to the brim.  They had their freedom to hunt, to play, to love and to enjoy each other's company.  The bond they shared wasn't unique, but it was strongly theirs, and Lucky cherished that.  They made their way down through the trees and stopped in unspoken agreement to get a drink from one of the streams.  The water was pure and sweet and very cold.  Moving on, they trotted side by side in companionable silence.  Life was good.  And Lucky was a happy dog.  Her world consisted of simple things, but they were things she loved.  Her family - - - Hunter, Tanner and Sonny - - - shared such satisfying times together.  Eating, sleeping, playing, with no hassles, no worries.  She had everything to live for.  No regrets.  Just the Now of it all.  Although it was early, not quite dark yet, Lucky and Hunter curled up for a nap.  Lucky sighed as she snuggled a little closer to Hunter's side.  It had been a fun day.  And Lucky was very tired.

......

Finally Gil stood back up and told Kip to stay with me.  I don't think she was going to go anywhere anyway, actually.  Gil ran back to the cabin and left us there for a bit.  Pretty soon I heard the truck start up, then watched as Gil drove across the yard until he was right next to us again.  He got out of the truck and came around with my food bowl in his hands.  Boy, that perked me up, I'll tell you!!  He put the bowl down by my head and it was all I could do to be polite and not start gobbling it up.  Man oh man - - - crumbled up cornbread and warm milk.  I never tasted anything so good in my whole life!  I licked the bowl clean and gave Gil a big smile.  He chuckled and petted my head some more.  Then he got a blanket out of the truck and sort of wrapped it around me.  "In the back, Kip!" he said, and she jumped into the bed of the truck.  He opened the door and then oh so carefully lifted me onto the seat of the truck.  To say it hurt wouldn't even begin to tell you.  But I was a brave girl and only cried a little bit.  Gil climbed in the other side and we headed out of the yard.  I guess my breakfast made me sleepy or something, because I don't remember even getting to the road, let alone any of the ride to the dog doctor.

"She's a miracle, isn't she?" the doctor said.  "All this time, Gil, and she still found her way back to you.  Her pads are shredded.  It's no telling how far she's traveled, or how long.  The gunshot would is, I'd say, well over a week old.  It doesn't surprise me that gangrene's set in.  What surprises me, Gil, is that she had the strength to ever get back to your place.  She's got a strong will, I'll say that.  That's the good news.  Bad news is, her leg has got to come off or it will kill her.  But I think you already knew that, didn't you?"

"Yes - - - I could smell her clear across the yard, and then when I got to her she couldn't even get up.  She's been dragging that leg for a long time."

"The bones are shattered, Gil.  There's just no fixing them.  If we're going to save her life, we're going to have to amputate."

"Do you think she can survive the surgery?"

"I think we don't have a choice."

"Okay then.  Do it."

.....

I'll tell you what.  I had gone about as far as I could go.  My legs were shaking so bad I didn't think they'd hold me up much longer.  I had just come through the clearing and had started back into the trees when I heard the barking.  All I could think was that I was in trouble.  The barks were the warning kind and I knew I should answer, but I couldn't do much more than cry.  My voice just wouldn't work.  So I kept going the best I could, and finally got to the edge of the trees behind the cabin.  I don't know why, but as soon as I saw that house, with the smoke drifting lazily out of the chimney, my legs just sort of quit wanting to move anymore.  So I laid there, looking at the cabin, seeing for the first time in a long time my daughter, Kip, as she stood by the woodpile barking her lungs out at me.

When she saw me she quit barking and just stood there staring at me.  I tried to get up to go to her, but my legs wouldn't work.  So I cried a little bit and started to crawl as best as I could.  Gil came around the corner of the cabin and my heart took a leap in my chest.  He sure looked good to me!  He laid his hand on Kip's head and I saw her raise her head to look at him to see if it was okay.  He patted her and I heard him say, "Go."  And only then did she begin to come check me out.  Her whimpers were pathetic and made me cry.  I was sure she knew who I was, but she acted sort of afraid of me.  I tried to crawl toward her and that's when Gil began to run across the yard.  He knelt down beside me.  At first he didn't touch me.  He just looked at me all over real quick and began to sort of sob.  "Oh my God, Lucky.  What in the world has happened to you?"  I tried to kiss his hand as he carefully ran it over my head.  I think he could tell I was hurting, because his hands were so gentle.  I was so glad to see him I couldn't hardly stand it.  He kept talking to me real softly and carefully moved his hands all over me.  He didn't touch my back leg, though, and I was really glad for that.  I knew it smelled bad and I was ashamed of that, but I couldn't help it.

Kip came up behind him and began to sniff me.  Her tail was wagging like crazy and I knew she was glad to see me.  "Where do you hurt, Mother?  Can I help?"  "I hurt all over, Kip, but mostly my leg.  It's good to see you.  I'm so tired - - - I've come such a long way - - -"  She kissed my face then, loving me and murmuring assurances.  Gil just kept petting me.  I think he was trying to figure out how to help me.  Finally he just carefully put his arms around me and buried his face in my stinky fur.  I could feel him crying and it broke my heart.

.....

Gil built up the fire again and settled in his chair with a pipe and a book.  He couldn't figure out why he couldn't get back to sleep.  It wasn't the storm.  He'd slept through worse storms than this.  His cabin was secure, his dog was asleep on her rug by the hearth.  The tea was hot and strong and sweet.  His belly was full.  He'd been up for hours.  He should be exhausted -- should be asleep -- but he was still aware, still alert, and still couldn't figure it out.

He walked to the window as dawn awakened and murky light filled the yard.  There were limbs down and branches lay strewn all over, with the last of the leaves lying in soggy mats on the lawn.  Lots of kindling out there.  And he wouldn't have to go far to fetch it.  He slipped a jacket over his flannel shirt and went out to take a look around.  Kip was instantly awake at the sound of the door opening, and gallumped her way out the door with her master.

Cold, grey drizzle met them.  Gil loaded up some waterlogged wood in his arms and carried it to the lean-to to dry out.  Kip ran helter skelter through the leaves, sniffing at the fallen limbs for hidden surprises.  Gil went for fresh water, scooping leaves out of the pool, thanking God once again for the spring and its constant supply.  The yard squished beneath his feet, and he noticed Kip was soaking wet clear up to her belly.  She bounded over to him, knocking his knee with her head.  Silly dog.  Gil reached for a stick and threw it far, delighting in the sight as Kip raced to retrieve it.  He began picking up fallen branches, stacking them next to the lean-to, tidying up his yard a little bit.  Kip kept bringing back the stick, so Gil kept throwing it for her.  He believed she'd play this game for hours.  He was probably right.

Gil had just finished cleaning up the side yard and had decided it was time for breakfast when Kip began to bark.